


Oh Death

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Out Of Hell, Adam is Saved, Cas is helpful, Confused Castiel, Dean gives relationship advice, Depressed Dean, F/M, Ghosts are a bitch to work on, Sam is being nosy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3081452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is having a hard time, everything is weighing him down. You decide to take one weight off his shoulders - not being able to save Adam from the Cage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dialogue betwixt Death and a Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is having a hard time, everything is weighing him down. You decide to take one weight off his shoulders - not being able to save Adam from the Cage.

He just stood there, looking at me with a level gaze. He was as thin as the boys' stories had led me to believe. His well-tailored suit was as black as demon’s eyes, and one of his hands was lazily resting atop his steel-tipped cane. I took a deep breath, determined not to show any fear.  
“Good day.” I greeted. “I’m terribly sorry for any inconvenience I might be causing you here, I’m sure you are a very busy… entity.”  
A miniscule smile curved up the corners of his thin-lipped mouth.  
“But I have a plea. I need help, and you are the only one powerful enough to provide it.”  
“And just what exactly might it be that you want?” he asked, his voice not threatening, but definitely invoking respect.  
“For you to get Adam Milligan out of the cage. Please.”  
“Now, why would you think I should do that for you?”  
I swallowed. There it was. The big why. I gestured towards the table where I had placed a careful selection of junk food.  
“Please, sit. I will be happy to elaborate.” I said.  
Death did indeed take a seat and helped himself to a slice of pizza. I took a chair across from him.  
“I am not asking you to do this because I have some stupid crush on Adam. In fact, I never even met the man. But Sam and Dean Winchester are good friends of mine. Well, Dean is having a harder time than usual. He always thinks it necessary to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and blame himself for everything. And even though he did not really talk about Adam in years, I know the fact that he couldn’t save his brother haunts him. It’s right up there with Kevin getting killed.” I paused, but the pale rider just kept looking at me, so I soon continued. “Now, I am perfectly aware that you find me, just like Dean and his feelings, exceedingly insignificant, if not bothersome. The thing is, however, that Dean is very significant to me. He was there for me when nobody else was. And I think it’s time I repaid him. I would like to do that by lightening the weight he carries just a little. So I’m begging you. Please, help me. I know you can.”  
“Do you know what you are asking?” he questioned. “I suppose you are aware of Sam’s state of mind after I returned his soul to him?”  
“I am.” A nod stressed my statement.  
“He would suffer. Adam. He was there for centuries.”  
“I know. My hope is that, since he is Michael’s vessel, it might be a little less… torturous for him, though.”  
“So you are determined to put Adam through all this, for the benefit of Dean Winchester?”  
“Yes and no.”  
“Please, enlighten me.” he said, reaching for another slice of pizza.  
“Of course I want to help Dean. I told you that much. And I am convinced that, no matter how insignificant you may find him, you also know that he is a good man. Judging from what I heard about Adam, so is he. Neither of them deserve what they are going through right now. Adam is a Winchester. Whatever state he is in now, it can only be worse than if you pulled him out of there. And he could make it through the healing process, I’m sure of it. I will be with him every step of the way. I swear.”  
“You swear?” he raised an eyebrow.  
“Yes.”  
“You should know that I am not fond of disturbing the natural order of things.”  
“I am aware,…”  
“But?”  
“I just think that technically, Adam is not dead, is he? I mean, he’s in hell and all that, locked into the cage with Lucifer and possessed by Michael, but physically, he’s alive. Otherwise he would have been useless to Michael.”  
A lazy smile crept over Death’s face.  
“You’re a clever one. I can respect that. Also, I appreciate that you did not use that pesky binding spell to bend me to your will.”  
“I figured we might come to a more pleasant understanding this way.” I admitted.  
“You were right. I am inclined to heed your request.”  
“Really?”  
“I do not tend to jest.”  
“Of course. My apologies.”  
“It’s quite alright.”  
“Eh… Sir?” I figured that was probably the best way to address him.  
“Yes?”  
“Will I have to be Death for a day, like Dean did?” I asked, eyeing his ring warily.  
“No.” he stated, and I released a breath I did not know I was holding.  
“Then what’s the deal?”  
“I do not make deals. Don’t mistake me for a crossroads-demon. I will help you because you asked nicely. There was no deceit, No motive you did not tell me about. You asked for my presence, and here I am. You gave me your reasons, and I accept them as legit. I also appreciate that you do not run around resurrecting people as you please. But you should know that this is the only time this will work. If you call for me again, I may show myself, or not, depending on whether I fancy a little chat, or not. But there will be no bargaining. No resurrections. No repetitions. Do you understand?”  
I nodded in silent agreement. What could I have said? This was way more than I could have hoped for.


	2. Stop All The Clocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You let the brothers know what you did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a whim, I decided to give all the chapters titles of poems.

“Dean, Sam, can you come with me for a second?” I asked cautiously.  
“Sure.” they said simultaneously and got up to follow me.  
I led them both towards the bedrooms, but walked past all of them, stopping one door down from my own. When I turned to face them, my hands were resting on the wood in my back.  
“Alright, listen. I did not know how I could possibly prepare either of you for this, so I didn’t. Just believe me when I tell you that what you’re going to see in there is real. There’s nothing fishy about it. Trust your eyes, and more importantly, trust me. Can you do that?”  
They just nodded, both their faces displaying a mixture of concern, interest and caution.  
“Good. Now this is how it’s gonna go: I’ll open the door, we go in, you look, we go out, I close the door, we can talk. Understood?”  
Again, they nodded.  
I slowly turned the doorknob, peeking in as I quietly eased the door open, finding a still sleeping form on the bed in the dimly lit room. When the door was fully open, I entered, waving the brothers in after me. I stood at the foot of the bed, keeping a watchful eye on both of them, but also making sure what was going on with my charge.  
Sam was just staring down at the bed in disbelief. Dean’s mouth was hanging open and his eyes brimmed with tears,, and then he reached out, but Sam had caught his had in a flash and shook his head no at him. I tapped on Sam’s shoulder, mouthing “Out.” when he looked at me. He nodded and dragged his elder brother, who kept staring at the bed, out of the room with him. I closed the door behind us noiselessly, then turning back around to the boys.  
“F/N, -“ Sam started, but was immediately interrupted by Dean.  
“How?” the older Winchester just asked.  
I sighed.  
“I… I asked Death.”  
“What?” they asked in unison.  
“I asked Death. Nicely, as he put it. At first I thought about using that binding spell you got from Crowley when… you know… But I thought that would probably not go over so well, so I just… asked to talk to him. Kind of like a prayer. And he appeared.”  
“And he just… brought Adam back from the Cage because you asked him? Nicely?”Dean was incredulous.  
“Basically.” I confirmed.  
“Why? You don’t even know Adam, F/N. You never met him.” Sam pointed out.  
“He’s your brother. That’s all I needed to know. And I wanted you to have one thing less to worry about. One thing less for Dean to blame on himself.”  
“You did this… for me?” Dean asked.  
“Largely. Yes. But also for him.” I gestured to the door behind me.  
“Is he…” Sam swallowed, but I knew what he meant to say.  
“Gonna take the train to crazy-town? I don’t know. I hope not. Death did not put up a wall in his head like he did for you. But I think that, since he was possessed by Michael the whole time he was down there, while your soul was just there, bare to be Lucifer’s plaything, he might just get around that. Still, he was there a lot longer than you. However this turns out when he wakes up, it won’t be easy for him. But since you guys never really need my help anyway, I figured I can just stay here. Be there for him. I’ll take care of him as long as he needs it.”  
“Thank you.” Dean said, clutching me to him in a tight embrace.  
Sam rested his hand on the top of my head as Dean held me.  
“Thank you, F/N.” he echoed his brother.  
“I didn’t do much.” I mumbled, my face buried somewhere against Dean’s chest. “I was just politely asking a question. Death can be very reasonable if you don’t try to put him in chains, you know?”


	3. Come live with me…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping Beauty wakes up...

After having brought in my pillows and as many duvets and blankets as I could find I had slept on the floor in Adam’s room so he wouldn’t be alone when he woke up. He hadn’t, though, and I needed some food, and, more importantly, coffee. I entered the kitchen, where Sam and Dean were already finishing up breakfast. They had kept me a stack of pancakes and Dean began pouring my coffee as soon as he saw me.

“Anything?” Sam asked.

“No.” I replied after swallowing a mouthful of pancakes. “He hasn’t woken up yet.”

“Sammy woke up after just a few hours.” Dean cut in.

“I know, but his body hadn’t been down there anymore for some time already. I think Adam just needs more physical rest. Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him again, once I’m done eating and had a quick shower.”

They still looked concerned, but nodded. I was as good as my word and returned to Adam’s bedside not even thirty minutes later. He was still unconscious, but more restless than before. His arms and legs were occasionally twitching and his eyes were moving rapidly underneath his closed lids. I was torn between letting him sleep in hopes it would pass or waking him up and scaring him, but the decision was taken from me when he shot up straight, eyes open wide and breath heavy. He frantically looked around himself in fear and recoiled when he saw me. I held up my empty hands to indicate I was no threat.

“Hi, Adam.”

His eyes widened even more as I spoke his name.

“I’m aware you don’t know me. My name is F/N. Sam and Dean – you remember them, I assume – are friends of mine.”I thought it was a good ides to introduce myself first, so he had a faint understanding who he was dealing with. “You must be completely disoriented. And scared shitless, I suppose. I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through. Maybe you want to tell me about it?”

Nothing. I didn’t really expect him to speak, of course, but I wanted to give him the opportunity, if he chose to do so. However, he just kept staring at me.

“Okay. That’s fine. How about – would you like me to catch you up on what’s been going on up here instead?” I asked, falling silent.

A few minutes passed without any reaction, but then he nodded. I almost missed the movement, it was so tiny, but he nodded. So I launched into a recap of everything that had happened since he fell into the Cage with Sam, Michael and Lucifer. It took hours, but I told him. He just sat there the whole time, staring off into space, not even blinking an eye at the most gruesome details. Well, being honest, I actually left the gruesome details out. When I had ended, he slowly turned his head to look at me again. My throat felt like I had been gurgling acid from all the talking, and I really needed some water. Which would probably be a good idea for him as well. I rose slowly, careful not to disrupt the fragile bond I hoped we were forming.

“Adam, I’ll just go outside for a few minutes. I’ll be right back. Is that okay with you?”

Hesitantly, he nodded again.

“Good. Thank you. I’ll leave the door open a crack. Don’t worry, you’re safe here.” I assured him before I left the room.

I passed the library on my way to the kitchen and heard the shuffling of paper, so I entered to give the boys a heads-up. They were sitting on opposite sides of a desk, both looking up as they heard the door.

“Is everything alright?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you… Adam woke up.”

“How is he?”

“Well… physically, he seems to be fine, but mentally… I can’t say that yet. He hasn’t spoken so far.”

“You think we can go see him?” Sam cautiously asked.

“Maybe that’s not such a good idea right away. He has enough trouble putting up with my presence right now. Give him some time to try and wrap his head around all this first. If he wants company, he’ll make it known, I guess.”

“Sure. Whatever you think is best. You’re in charge of this.” Sam said, Dean nodding in agreement.

“Thanks guys. I’ll go now, need to get back.”

Leaving them to whatever they were doing I found a large bottle of water and two glasses in the kitchen. I reentered Adam’s room with these items in hand, leaving the door ajar again. Setting the glasses down on the bedside table and beginning to unscrew the bottle, I turned to my charge.

“Hey.” I began softly. “Sorry it took so long. I just let Sam and Dean know you were awake. Would you like some water?”

Adam nodded again, so I filled both glasses and handed him one of them. He eyed me warily until I took a sip before he drank himself.

I had asked the boys not to knock, so my phone buzzed in my pocket a few minutes later when a text arrived.

“You hungry?” I asked Adam after checking it, even though I was petty sure he was bound to be. A growl of his stomach answered me. “Yeah, me too. Burgers and fries?”

He shrugged in reply, and I texted Dean that was both our meal of choice.

“Now, we’re all alone in the bunker. Let me give you a tour?”

I got up from my chair and Adam rose in a surprisingly fluid motion. I held the door open for him as he blinked rapidly at the fluorescent light in the hallway, much brighter than the bedside lamp in his room.

“First of all, there’s the bathroom.” I gestured to the door at the end of the hall. Then, I started indicating rooms as we passed them. “This, right next to yours, is my room. I’ll get my bed-stuff out of your room tonight and sleep in my own again. You’re always welcome. Always. If you need anything, or just want to… I don’t know, but in any case, I’ll be there. Just come in. Door will be open for you.”I gave him a small smile to assure him of my sincerity and then moved on. “This is Sam’s room. And Dean’s. Having shown him the library, the kitchen and every other room of importance, we ended up returning to his room, just as my phone buzzed again to indicate his brothers were back.

I left him to fetch our food, finding the room empty when I returned. Sounds from the bathroom indicated he was there, so I passed the time by returning my pillows and blankets to my own room. I exited my room again just as Adam opened the bathroom door.

“Hey there.” I said. “Food’s in here. Let’s eat.”

We both sat cross-legged on the bed and ate in companionable silence – more or less. He was, understandably, twitchy and jumpy, looking around in nervous fear at every little sound. Each time, I would tell him it was okay and that the bunker was the safest place to be for any of us, until he calmed down enough to finish his meal. When we were done, I yawned shamelessly, not having gotten much sleep last night on the floor. I checked the time on my phone, finding it was quite late already.

“Jeesh, it’s almost 11! I’ll head to my room, catch up on some sleep. If you want to do the same, there’s clothes, towels and a set of pj’s in the chest of drawers over there –“ I pointed “– and if you need anything else, I’ll be right next door, as you know. Will you be alright?” I asked and he slowly nodded, so I picked up the trash and left him there, leaving the door ajar yet again.

I went to the kitchen to dispose of our burger wrappers, and ran into Sam and Dean there.

“How’s it going?” Dean questioned.

“So far, rather good. He still hasn’t said a word, but at least he’s eating. I’ll sleep in my own room tonight.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“As good as any. I don’t want him to feel like he’s being watched, and he knows I’m right next door and that he can always come on over.”

Both of them droned their agreement, and I went back to my room after saying good night. I changed into long flannel pj-bottoms and a tank top, falling asleep almost as soon as I had hit he sheets. Although the day had flown by, it had been pretty exhausting.

 

My alarm clock told me it was 3 am when I woke, not knowing why. As my head cleared a little more thoroughly, I began to realize what had risen me from my slumber. I was lying on my stomach, one arm dangling off the side of my bed, and there was something putting pressure on the hand attached to said arm. I turned my head so I could see, and found Adam on the floor next to my bed, curled up under his duvet, his hands both clutching mine, obviously having a nightmare. Or a memory. Nothing good, definitely. I shifted so that I sat on the edge, bending down to him so I could stroke his cheek with my free hand. He shot awake as soon as my fingers made contact, releasing my hand and cringing away in terror. I held both hands up again I a pacifying gesture, and spoke lowly to him.

“It’s just me. Sorry, I did not mean to startle you.”

His posture relaxed instantly as soon as he heard my voice.

“You could have woken me up, you know. And if you don’t want to be alone at night, that doesn’t mean you have to sleep on the floor. You can come into bed with me.”

He just looked at me questioningly, and I nodded.

“Come on up. I know how uncomfortable the floor is, I bet it’s not helping.”

He stood and I scooted to the side to make space for him, flipping the covers back. When he lay down next to me, I pulled the sheets back up around the both of us, then resting my head on the pillow again as he did the same. I looked into his eyes and found his expression unreadable.

“You know, if you want, you’re welcome to hold onto my hand again.” I told him quietly. “Whatever you need to feel better, or safer, is fine with me.”

In response I felt him slowly, hesitantly, wrap his hand around mine again, which I turned in his grasp to interlace my fingers with his. My thumb started drawing lazy circles on the back of his hand. The action seemed to soothe him, as his breathing became deep and even, and after a while I myself started to drift back off to sleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so I'll make the chapter titles first lines and titles of poems. Sue me... ;)
> 
> ...just kidding, I love you all.


	4. Vivamus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Adam get the bunker to yourselves...

The morning saw me waking with a start as Dean burst into my room.  
“F/N, we got an emergency call from a friend, we gotta go. Will you and Adam be –“ he stopped himself there, realizing Adam was there next to me.  
His youngest brother was still holding my hand, squeezing a little too tightly as a result of waking up in fear. I softly put my other hand on top of his, and he relaxed slightly.  
“I think we’ll be okay, Dean. Adam, what do you say?”  
I didn’t want to speak for him. He looked at Dean and nodded silently. Dean apologized for the sudden intrusion, then turned around and left, although reluctant upon first seeing Adam awake again. I fell back onto the sheets with a sigh.  
“Damn it!” I muttered. “This is not how I was hoping for this to go. Are you alright?”  
Adam looked down at me and gave me a quiet shrug.  
  
The boys had been gone for three days now. Adam sleeping in my room, and my bed, had become a permanent arrangement that did not bother me in the least. I liked having him close. Being honest, I probably liked it a little too much. The way he kept softly touching me to be sure I was there. How he always held my hand as he slept, squeezing just a little tighter when his nightmares plagued him. His gentle, yet cautious eyes. All these were things that had me slowly, but surely falling for him. Of course I was doing the best I could to repress those feelings. I didn’t want things to be weird between us.  
We spent most of our days in the library, helping the boys out with research. Well, I was researching, Adam was mostly just watching me. I guess he just wasn’t up to dealing with monsters yet, even if they were just on paper.  
As I looked up from my book, I found Adam fast asleep in his chair, for once not having a nightmare, and smiled a little. Right then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text fom Dean letting me know they had basically been on their way back but had stumbled upon what seemed like a haunting, so they would be gone a little longer. And Sam asked for me to check our supplies for summoning rituals. Not that we were planning on summoning anyone, but it was better to be safe. Seeing how Adam was asleep, I decided to do a quick inventory right away.  
The room we kept that kind of supplies in was on the lower level, close to the dungeon. When I came back upstairs, I heard an unfamiliar voice call for me in panic.  
“F/N?”  
I frowned. I’d never heard that voice before.  
“F/N???”  
Wait – there was only one other person in the bunker. the voice had to be his.  
“F/N!!!!”  
I rushed back to the library, which was unoccupied, so I followed the voice to the vicinity of the kitchen, where I found Adam, frantically looking for me.  
“Adam!” I exclaimed.  
He turned on his heels to face me with a fearful expression and I hurried over to pull him into my arms.  
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I murmured as he clutched me close to him.  
“I woke up and –“ he paused. His voice was raspy from a lack of use. “-and you were gone.”  
“I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t mean to frighten you, I was just checking some stock.”  
He pulled me closer still, his face hidden in my hair, and I was at leisure to breathe in his scent. There was something unique about it, something I couldn’t put my finger on. It was so peculiarly Adam. Those thoughts were quickly pushed to the back of my mind when the realization hit me that my name had been the first thing I ever heard him say, and even if it had been in fear, that made a part of me incredibly happy.  
We just stood there for some time, holding each other, until his breathing was slow and even again. I was stroking his hair, my other hand resting on his back. Then I pulled back a bit to look at him.  
“Better now?”  
“Yes.”  
“Alright. Well… I don’t know about you, but I’d like to read something different than gory accounts of demonic orgies for a while. I’ll fetch my book, and we could check what’s on TV for you?”  
He nodded and followed me back to the library, where I dug for a battered copy of a book I had read about 30 times already, but couldn’t not read under all the volumes of lore. Then we made our way to Deans room, the only one with an actual TV in it (I was still convinced it was so he didn’t have to miss a single episode of “Doctor Sexy, MD”), and got comfortable on Dean’s bed. We checked he channels, finally settling on some cartoons.  
I had just read a few pages when Adam’s head came to rest on my shoulder and he muted the TV.  
“What are you reading?” he asked quietly. I answered with a smile.  
“A story about making mistakes. About errors in judgment and wrong decisions. And about redemption. A love-story.”  
“You like it?”  
“It’s my favorite. Would you like me to read it to you?”  
“Please.” he confirmed, hesitantly, as if he did not want to bother me.  
“My pleasure.” I answered, flipping back to the first page.  
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame on you if you don't know which book you're reading to Adam without googling it!


	5. Sweet Disorder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys return from their hunt...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moderate consumption of alcoholic beverages and mentions of blood are included. Take a chill pill, it's really not much...

The next two days passed peacefully. Adam didn’t speak much, but I was happy that he spoke at all. In the evenings, before we went to sleep, I would read him a few chapters and he would lay his head on my shoulder again as he listened.  
Our peace was interrupted when Sam and Dean suddenly burst in, tailed by Cas. Adam flinched at the sudden noise, but calmed right down again as soon as I put my hand on his back. I took the boys in, dashing towards Dean right away. He was bloody all over, and most of it seemed to be his own.  
“Dean, what happened? Cas, why didn’t you heal him?”  
“He wouldn’t let me.” Cas defended himself as I helped Dean onto a chair.  
“Take off your jacket and shirt.” I instructed, as the main source of blood seemed to be a wound on Dean’s chest. He smirked.  
“I just came back, and you’re already undressing me. So impatient, F/N…”  
I scoffed.  
“Keep dreaming, Winchester.” Looking up at my quiet friend, I then asked: “You alright, Adam?”  
He nodded.  
“Adam?” Cas uttered, only now registering his presence. “How is –“  
“Cas, not now. Please. Adam, can you please fetch me the medical kit from that cupboard over there?” I pointed, and he brought me what I needed to patch Dean up.  
While I did so, Sam began to explain what had happened.  
“We met up with Cas for that first hunt, which went pretty smoothly with his help, but then there was the haunting… It was a whole bunch of ghosts, and one of them threw Dean around like a ragdoll, and straight into his own knife. As he said, Dean wouldn’t let Cas heal him – his grace, you know – and our cover got busted, too, so we had to leave in a hurry and couldn’t see to his wounds yet.”  
“But thankfully we have your talented hands for that.” Dean chimed in with a flirtatious grin. “I much prefer your gentle touch to Sammy’s field surgeon approaches anyway.”  
I smacked him on the back of the head for that, having finished tending to the gash, and saw Adam frown across the room.  
“Something wrong?” I asked gently, slightly worried.  
“No, nothing.”  
Both Sam and Dean’s gazes snapped up to their brother. They hadn’t known Adam had started talking again, so they were understandably surprised. Cas just looked confused.  
“Okay. Cas, I guess you would like an update?”  
“Very much so.” he confirmed.  
We all moved to the kitchen and I grabbed a beer for each of the guys and then poured myself a glass of ice-cold Amaretto before sitting down next to Adam.  
“To cut to the chase, I asked Death for help. I was actually surprised it worked out that way, but I’m glad it did. I knew he was capable of getting Adam out of there in one piece, so I asked him. He didn’t even test me like he did Dean, he just told me it was a once in a lifetime deal. That was a week ago. I think Adam’s doing great, all things considered.” I smiled at Adam, and he gently brushed his hand against mine under the table.  
“I see.” Cas nodded, asking no further questions, which was a relief. I didn’t feel like repeating myself. Instead, Sam spoke.  
“So, Adam…”  
Adam looked up from his beer at his half-brother.  
“I… I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. For everything. For getting you stuck in the cage.”  
“Sammy, do you really think this is the right time?” Dean spoke up.  
Adam narrowed his eyes at the two of them, and they both recoiled.  
“It’s okay, Adam, you –“  
“No! It’s not okay!” he interrupted me. “I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely not okay! I don’t want to talk about this. Not now. Probably not ever. You know what? Screw this. I’m going to bed.” And he left.  
“Great job, Sammy.” Dean said.  
“What? I just… I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off.  
“Forget it Sam, I’m sure he’ll be alright. Just… don’t bring the whole Cage-thing up again. Let him start it. If he wants to talk, he will.”  
Sam sighed deeply.  
“If you think that’s best.”  
“I do. Now, would you guys please excuse me?”  
“You going to check on him?” Dean asked with a worried expression.  
“What else?”  
“Just… let us know if there’s anything we can…”  
“I will, Dean. But I think he will be fine.” I said, knocking back the last drop of almond-liquor before standing up and kissing each of the three on the cheek. “Night, guys.”


	6. The Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You give Adam a more in-depth explanation than anybody else.

“How are you?” I asked, slowly entering my room.  
Adam sat on the bed, staring into space.  
“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” he whispered, shifting his gaze towards me.  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
I sat down next to him.  
“But I do. You didn’t deserve that.”  
“As I said, don’t sweat it. I would like to focus on how that was the most you talked in one go since you’re here.”  
“Was it?” he shrugged.  
“Sure it was. I think that’s a good sign.”  
“I yelled at you, and you think that’s a good thing?”  
“I do. And I sure as hell won’t hold it against you. You have every reason to be… imbalanced. I understand. So do they.”  
On an impulse, I kissed his temple and then grabbed my stuff to go to the bathroom and ready myself for the night. On my way to the door I thought I detected a faint blush on his cheeks, but I shrugged it off.  
  
When I returned, Adam had changed as well and I crawled into bed next to him, leaning against the headboard and reaching for our book.  
“Wait, F/N. Can we… Can we talk instead? I have a few questions.” he stopped me.  
“Sure. What would you like to know?”  
“Why did you do it?”  
“Do what?”  
“Save me.”  
“Oh. Well. You might not like to hear that, but what first brought the idea into my head was Dean. He has been through a lot. More shit than I care to imagine. And it eats away at him. So I wanted to turn one of the things that haunted him the most around.”  
“It couldn’t have bothered him all that much that I was stuck there. He never tried to get me out.” Adam scoffed.  
“No, Adam, listen.” I reached for his hand – force of habit – and began drawing random patterns on the back of it with my second one. “He did. The problem was that he did not have many options. If any. He couldn’t just pop open the Cage again and drag you out. That would have let Lucifer out as well. But when Sam was soulless… When Dean contacted Death to retrieve Sam’s soul from the Cage, he all but begged him to get you out as well. But he had to choose. Death was adamant. One, or none.” I squeezed his hand sympathetically.  
“So Sam was the logical choice.” he stated dully.  
“I guess so. The point is, he wanted to save you. He really did. And the fact that he couldn’t crushed him.”  
“So you did it for him? It had nothing to do with me?”  
“Dean was the inspiration. That’s right.”  
He tried to pull his hand away, but I kept my hold on him tight.  
“But…” I said firmly. “…But the more I thought about it, the more it became about you. You never knew about any of this crap. Then you got killed by those ghouls, and instead of letting you rest in peace, the angels just had to drag you back. First to force Dean’s hand, then to be Michael’s backup-meatsuit. You didn’t deserve that. None of it. Least of all being stuck in an eternal battle in some remote corner of hell.”  
At my further explanation, his expression had softened, and he leaned into me a bit.  
“In the end, I think I wanted you to have a chance to get topside again just as much as I wanted the same for him. I know the first – and I guess kind of last – time you met them, they didn’t leave that great an impression. But Sam, Dean and Cas – they’re good people. So please. Give them a chance. They were more truthful to you than Zachariah ever was. That’s got to count for something. They all made mistakes, and believe me, they paid dearly for them.”  
“You really care for them.” his words came out flat.  
“I care for you just as much.” I pointed out.  
“You barely even know me.”  
“I think I know more than enough.”  
I heard him swallow hard, but did not look up to judge his face.  
“So… How was he?” he asked quietly after a few minutes of silence.  
“How was who?”  
“Death.”  
“Oh.”  
“How does one just talk to Death? I mean… Angels. Lucifer. God. And now Death? Personified?”  
I sighed deeply. I really had no interest in talking about this again and again. But for Adam, I’d do it.  
“Well… physically, he’s thin. Pale. Looks like he never eats. But let me tell you, he’s really into junk food. And his presence. It’s like… a shiver. Not from cold. Or fear. Just the sheer vibration of his might. When he speaks, it’s like… like when someone sounds a gong. You just listen, because you know it’s important. there’s a moment, just a tiny fraction of time, and you know there’s an immense amount of power behind that voice. It’s mesmerizing, really. And yet, even with all that, he’s reasonable. He’s got a job to do, and he does it well. At least, that’s the impression I got. I can not lay any claim to knowing what his motivations are, I’ve only met him this one time, and that was more than enough. But –“ I turned to face Adam, reaching up to lay my hand softly on his cheek. “– it was absolutely worth it.”  
He leaned into my touch slightly, and then his lids began to flutter like he could barely keep his eyes open anymore.  
“You tired?”  
He nodded wordlessly.  
“Then let’s go to sleep.”  
We soon got comfortable, and I reached over him to switch off the bedside lamp, leaving us in darkness. It did not take long for either of us to fall into slumber.


	7. …and be my love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets a go at sharing his thoughts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is told by Adam, hence the italics.  
> There will be a few more chapters from his POV coming up.

_I woke up each morning, one night after the other full of things I wished I didn’t remember invading my dreams. Considering how many times I woke up at night – on a good night only three times – it was amazing that F/N, who always jolted awake beside me as well, could even function anymore. Every time, I feared that she might kick me out of her room to face my nightmares alone, but she never did. Each time, she would just be there by my side, letting me hold her hand and giving me small words of comfort until my breathing would calm down again._   
_I had no idea how she managed it, but from the very first moment after I woke up and she spoke, I trusted her. She was honest, and good, and she never pushed me. Never asked me about things I wasn’t ready to talk about. Let me have as much time as I wanted and needed._   
_By now, weeks had passed. For her, I was willing to give Sam and Dean a chance. I still didn’t feel all that comfortable around them or Castiel, especially when she wasn’t in the room, but I tried. And so did they. I noticed. None of them brought the cage up again or complained that I didn’t talk to them. The angel, of course, was hardly ever around anyway._   
_We were in the library one day, Dean, F/N, and me, and it was getting late. We had had dinner hours ago, and sometimes F/N like a little snack later at night, so neither of us were surprised when she got up from her seat._   
_“I’m gonna go check what’s in the fridge. You guys want anything? A beer, maybe?” she asked._   
_“You’re a mind reader, sweetheart.” Dean said, and I clenched my teeth. I didn’t like it when he called her pet names. I really didn’t._   
_“Adam? Anything?” she turned to me with a smile. I just shook my head._   
_She still hadn’t returned 15 minutes later. I was getting tired, so I shoved the book away from me, pushed back from the desk and go up._   
_“Going to bed?” Dean asked, looking up at me. I nodded. “If you see F/N on your way, tell her not to bother about that beer anymore. I’m about ready to pass out as well, I’ll just finish this.”_   
_“Got it.”_   
_I did speak to them. Just not a lot._   
_“Night, Adam.”_   
_I nodded again and left the library._   
  
_Looking for F/N, I ended up outside the closed door leading to the kitchen, where I heard her talking with Sam._   
_“I can see it.” Sam said._   
_“Don’t be ridiculous, Sam.”_   
_“F/N, I’m telling you, I can see it. It’s in your eyes. Every time you look at him.”_   
_“Will you please stop? You’re making a fool of yourself.”_   
_“Oh, am I? And yet you are the one who won’t admit she’s in love with my brother.”_   
_I held my breath, feeling as if my heart had stopped. No. No no no no no no no._   
_“Sam, you’re imagining things.”_   
_“You could at least be honest, you know that?”_   
_“And what good would that do???” she yelled._   
_I flinched. Never had I heard her raise her voice before._   
_“F/N, -“_   
_“No, really, Sam. Tell me what good that would do. If I admitted to you – to myself – that I had feelings like that for him, how could that possibly have a positive outcome, huh? You should know as well as anyone that all of us have more than enough to deal with right now. He does not need the Damocles-sword of my unrequited feelings dangling over his head. Now leave it, please.”_   
_I had heard enough. My nails digging into my palms, I turned away from the kitchen, aiming for the bedrooms instead._


	8. Do Not Go Gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to deal with the aftermath of Sam snooping around in your business...

“Who says they’re unrequited?” Sam refused to let the topic go.  
I scoffed.  
“Please, don’t you think Adam has other problems than falling for someone like me right now?”  
“Someone like you? What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“You know exactly what I mean.”  
“No, F/N, I don’t. Please enlighten me.”  
“I’m a hunter, Sam.”  
“So?”  
“So? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m a mess. We all are. Adam doesn’t need that. He deserves a nice girl with a good heart.”  
Sam looked horrified.  
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t think you have a good heart?”  
I just shrugged at his question.  
“Seriously, F/N? After all you’ve done for us? For Dean and me? And with the way you’re there for Adam?”  
“You and Dean, you’re his family. He’ll see that in time. But I’m telling you, he doesn’t need another hunter messing his life up.”  
Sam sighed deeply before speaking again.  
“You know, F/N… You leave everything up to him. When he’s ready to talk… Everything. Why don’t you let him decide on this as well?” He moved towards the door, turning around once more before he left. “Good night, F/N.”  
  
When I entered the library to inform Dean and Adam I was going to bed, I found Dean alone.  
“Dean, I – crap, I forgot your beer. Sorry.”  
“Don’t sweat it, love. I was just packing up anyway. I need some shut-eye, too.” he said.  
“Alright. Where’s Adam?”  
“In your room, I guess. He left a while ago. Didn’t he tell you? I thought he’d go looking for you first.”  
“He didn’t… Well, have a good night then, Dean.”  
He closed the book in front of him, got up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and a “Sleep tight.” and walked past me into the hallway.  
I switched off the lights in the library and made my way towards my room. Which was empty. Looking back into the now dark hall, I saw a faint shimmer of light emanate from under the door next to mine, the room I had intended to be Adam’s. I knocked softly.  
“Yes?” cam his low answer and I slowly opened the door.  
“Hey.” I greeted.  
As soon as he saw it was me, he looked away.  
“Hey.  
“What are you doing in here?” I asked.  
“I was under the impression this was supposed to be my room.”  
“Well, yes… just…”  
“Then I’ll sleep in my room.” he said, still not looking at me.  
“You’re sure you’ll be alright?” I asked cautiously.  
“I just want to be alone tonight! Is that so wrong?” he snapped.  
Startled, I took a step back.  
“No. Of course not. I’ll… I’ll leave you alone then… If… Should anything come up, you’ll know where to find me. Good Night.”  
I left, closing the door behind me.  
While I got ready for bed, the wheels were busy turning in my mind, trying to figure out what might have caused Adam’s sudden change in attitude. He’d never snapped at me before or after Sam had brought up the Cage that one time. And he had definitely always wanted to be alone as little as possible, especially at night. It just didn’t fit. From whatever angle I looked at it, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.  
  
Even several hours after I went to bed, sleep still evaded me. And then I heard Adam scream. That was new. Usually his nightmares made him plead, whimper, beg, shake, but he had not downright screamed before.  
I jumped up and was in the hallway seconds later. Sam and Dean, both displaying the messy hair of people who had actually been sleeping, peeked out of their respective doors with panicked looks. I signaled to them I was going to take care of this and entered Adam’s room, just as he screamed again. He was tossing and turning, drenched in cold sweat, his face showcasing pure agony and fear. My first attempt at calming him down by holding his hand did not avail to much, other than his grasp being so tight I feared he would end up breaking my fingers. So I ripped my hand from his, knelt on the mattress, took a hold of his shoulders and shook him with what strength my tired body could muster. It took about 15 seconds before his eyes shot open. The moment he saw me, his arms clutched around my waist, his face hidden in the tank top I wore to bed, and I felt tears wet the fabric as he sobbed.  
It was an awkward position, physically, and for me, it quickly became uncomfortable, so I shifted until I was sitting with my back against the headboard, Adam’s head resting in my lap. He was still crying, but did not seem to be fully awake, so I just weaved my fingers through his hair in a soothing manner.  
“Shh… It’s alright…” I kept my voice low, almost inaudible. “You’re safe. It’s okay.”  
  
“F/N? Why are you here?”  
I yawned and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. I must’ve fallen asleep after Adam had calmed down. It took me a few moments to collect my thoughts. Adam was sitting up next to me, waiting for an answer.  
“You had a nightmare again.” I explained.  
“That doesn’t mean you have to come running. I’ll have to learn how to deal with those by myself. The sooner, the better.” he replied gruffly.  
“Adam, you were screaming. “ He paled. “You even woke Sam and Dean up. They were worried, too. I couldn’t just leave you alone with this.” I reached for his hand atop the duvet, but he pulled it back, out of my reach. A deep frown appeared on my face. “Okay, will you please tell me what‘s going on?” I demanded.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he tried to weasel out of directly answering my question.  
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. From one moment to the next, you refuse to sleep in my room, and when you end up having your worst nightmare so far, you won’t even allow me to comfort you the next morning. You know I would usually not push you, but this is absurd. So I’m gonna ask you again. What’s going on?”  
He sighed deeply.  
“Maybe you should consider what Dean thinks of us sleeping in the same bed every night.”  
“Wait-what?” I was shocked. “Dean doesn’t think anything of it. Even if he did, why should that be of import to me?”  
“Because you’re in love with him.”  
“Wha- I’m not in love with Dean! Why would you think that???”  
“I accidentally overheard your conversation with Sam last night.”  
Now it was me who turned pale. How much had he heard? At least it seemed like he hadn’t listened long enough to know that it wasn’t Dean I harbored feelings for.  
“Whatever you heard-“  
“Is this the part where you tell me you didn’t mean anything you said? Like each of you having enough to deal with right now? I’m sorry to be such a burden to you, I’ll do my best not to bother you anymore.”  
That was enough.  
“Adam Milligan, listen to me. Closely.”  
He refused to acknowledge what I said and kept looking away.  
“And look at me when I talk to you.”  
Nothing. He kept stubbornly staring into a corner. With a frustrated noise I scrambled around him and placed my hands on either side of his face so he could not turn away. He lowered his eyes and stared intently at the duvet instead.  
“Adam.” My voice was low and pleading. “Look at me.”  
Slowly, his eyes rose to meet mine.  
“I said what I had to in order to shut Sam up. He wouldn’t stop. I did say we all had enough to deal with right now. All of us. You included. And in no way does that mean I consider you a burden. I don’t. Being at you disposal is my pleasure. I want to help you as much as I possibly can. Letting you stay in my room is part of that deal. And even if Dean didn’t like that, if he was jealous or whatever, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about that. Because I’m not in love with Dean. Do you hear me? I don’t love Dean. Not that way.” One of my hands fell to rest on his shoulder, the other still remaining on his cheek. “You got that?” I asked in a whisper. He nodded by way of an answer. “Good. Now come here.”  
Just like that, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, not in a desperate grasp like last night, but in a soft embrace, glad that someone was there to hold him when he needed it.


	9. The Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little awkwardness, more nosy Winchester-wiseassery and a teeny tiny bit of fluff this time.

The day passed with at least some degree of awkwardness on all sides. When poor Dean was being his usual flirty self, complimenting me on how cute my concentrated face looked while we were researching in the library, I actually hissed at him, taking him completely by surprise. He jolted backwards, almost falling over, chair and all. I turned one of Crayola’s deepest shades of red and stuttered an apology.  
“S – Sorry, Dean. I didn’t – I didn’t mean to… Can we just… not do the platonic flirting and stuff? Not today.”  
He scrutinized me thoroughly before formulating a reply.  
“Sure. Whatever you want. Are you sure you’re alright? You’re kind of on edge today.”  
“Gee, really?” I thanked the absent God for my favorite weapon, sarcasm, rubbing my aching neck as I kept talking. "Do you think that might have something to do with me getting very little sleep last night, even for a hunter?” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m fine. Just need to go to bed early today, is all.”  
He nodded in understanding.  
Sam then entered the library, back from having made us all sandwiches fur lunch, and Adam shortly thereafter returned from – actually, I didn’t know where. Bathroom, probably. Sam shot me a look that said “Tell him.”, much to my dismay, but raised his hands in defeat when I gave him a menacing glare. Sitting down next to me, Adam took the plate Sam handed to him.  
“Thanks.” he nodded towards Sam.  
As I reached past Adam for my own plate, my hand brushed against his forearm. He looked away, and I could have sworn a faint blush covered his cheeks. Not wanting to embarrass him, I did not ask about it, and we all ate in silence.  
  
Adam did not purposely try to avoid me throughout the day, but I could not shake the feeling that he was somehow… distant. I had grown used to being in almost constant physical contact with him, but there was none, and I missed it. I did not even have the possibility to hold his hand under the desk while reading dusty volumes of forgotten lore, because he had one tangled in his hair, the other holding open the book he had in front of him.  
  
Late that afternoon, Dean offered to show Adam around the garage, which I had left out upon first giving him the tour of the bunker. As fate would have it, Adam admired the vintage cars and motorcycles, so Dean left him there to take as much time as he wanted to.  
That was how I ended up coming into the main hall, practically walking in on Sam and Dean whispering amongst themselves.  
“Am I interrupting something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Not at all, F/N.” Dean shook his head and patted the chair next to him a little too eagerly. “Come, sit. Let’s have a chat.”  
I narrowed my eyes, but sat anyway.  
“So…” he started, resting his arm on the back of my chair. “Sammy here has been telling me about how he noticed you were developing a special degree of… appreciation for our little Cage-escapee. Thanks for that again, by the way.”  
“Has he now?”  
My mind was rapidly playing through scenarios of how I could take revenge on Sam for this. I’d probably start by shaving his head.  
“He has, and I have to admit, surprised as I was at first, after I gave it some thought, I agree with his observation.”  
“Good for you.” I grumbled.  
“There’s more.”  
“Thank God. I was afraid that was all of it already.” There I went with the sarcasm again.  
“While Sam was busy analyzing how you acted around Adam, I was watching Adam himself. especially around you. And I gotta say, the way he lights up when he looks at you… Not a lot, but it’s there. And it’s bright.”  
“Dean, -“ I spoke before Sam could back his brother up. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Sam yesterday. You’re being ridiculous. Adam might consider me a friend, and be grateful I’m there for him, but he’s busy enough healing. He’s got other things in mind than falling for a hunter.”  
“F/N –“ Sam tried to jump in, but I cut him off.  
“No. I’m not going to have this conversation with you two. If I felt that way, it would be no concern of yours. And don’t you dare bothering Adam with your brain farts. He’s got enough on his plate. Just leave it alone.” I got up while I spoke. “If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my room reading a book that has nothing to do with the gutting of virgins and the ritualistic consumption of their intestines.”  
Giving them no chance to protest, I took my leave.  
  
Nobody seemed to be bothered by my being a recluse for the rest off the evening, so the next thing I heard from them was Sam and Dean hollering a “Good Night, F/N!” down the hall as they turned in for the night themselves. I called back to them with the same sentiment. A few minutes later, a tentative knock sounded from my door.  
“Come in.”  
Slowly, the door inched open.  
“Hey, Adam.” I smiled. His expression was reluctant and fearful.  
“F/N. I… I was hoping I could sleep here again… If you don’t mind.” he hesitantly pleaded.  
“I don’t know…” I faked a thoughtful expression. “Maybe…”  
His face fell even more. Then I broke into a wide grin.  
“I’m just kidding, Adam. Come on in.”  
He exhaled in relief and entered, closing the door behind him.


	10. The Rose in the Deeps of his Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam spills...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is rather short. But in my opinion, it's intense. I never thought one needed a lot of words to convey emotions and trauma, so I kept true to that.  
> Also, it's Adam's POV once more, so we're back in italics...

_F/N was curled up under the covers, lying on her right side. Her left hand was entangled with mine as I lay facing her. It was late morning, Sam and Dean had been up for hours, but F/N was still sleeping peacefully, and I was grateful for the opportunity to just admire her without the risk of anybody, especially her, noticing. Some strands of her hair were fanned out on her cheek, and her lips were slightly parted._  
 _I chuckled as she scrunched up her nose as if smelling something nasty. When her face relaxed again, I reached out to brush back the hair from her cheek. I tucked the strands behind her ear and then let my fingertips trail down her neck. I wasn’t really touching her, but I still feared what she might think if she knew or noticed, so I pulled my hand back before reaching her collarbone, resting it on top of our interlaced hands between us._  
 _When I had knocked on her door last night, I knew exactly how lucky I was she let me stay with her again after how I’d behaved. With all that she’d done, she deserved nothing but my trust, and I had been rude and ungrateful. As her eyelids began to flutter open, my resolve strengthened to finally repay her kindness with complete trust._  
 _“What time is it?” she murmured, rubbing sleep from her eyes._  
 _“About 11 am.” I replied softly after checking the alarm clock on the bedside table behind me._  
 _“What?” She sat up, the sheets falling off her shoulders, and I followed suit. “Why didn’t you wake me?”_  
 _“I wake you up often enough. I figured you could use the extra time.”_  
 _A small smile graced her lips._  
 _“That’s very considerate of you.”_  
 _“Not nearly as considerate as everything you’ve done for me.”_  
 _“Don’t mention it.”_  
 _“But I want to. You can’t imagine how grateful I am. All that time I was down there, there was nothing but darkness, and pain, and loneliness. I wasn’t the only one in my body, but I never felt so isolated.”_  
 _Closing my eyes, I paused. I could feel her softly rest her hand on my shoulder._  
 _“You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” she whispered._  
 _“No. You should know. You deserve to. I trust you.”_  
 _“Then I’m listening.”_  
 _“I could feel Michael commanding my body. Everything. Their fighting. Weapons slicing into my flesh. Not only my flesh. My very essence. I can still feel it. And I feel raw against it, bare, and exposed. Like when you touch something very hot, and your skin blisters and bursts open. That sensitive, red flesh underneath. That’s how I feel. The slightest change in temperature can cause incredible pain. Excruciating agony. And when I sleep, I’m back there. Back in the pit, the Cage. And it all starts again. Lucifer’s taunting. Michael’s arrogance. The pain. And I just want it to end. But it’s like I can feel you’re there, especially when you’re holding my hand. Like a sense of knowledge, telling me it’s going to be over soon, and something good is going to be waiting for me.”_


	11. Crossing the Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They never really need your help anyway...

I blinked rapidly, my eyes brimming with tears. Whatever I might have expected, this wasn’t it. Although he kept his story short, I knew he wasn’t holding anything back. There were no positive sides to his time in the Cage, no light at the horizon. It was all darkness, heat, and pain. But I was glad, and felt very honored, that he ended on a hopeful note.  
“Thank you.” I breathed.  
Adam tilted his head to the side, looking slightly confused.  
“What for?”  
“Telling me.”  
A small smile curved his lips.  
“I know I can trust you. I wanted to show you I did.” he explained briefly.  
I smiled at him in return and pulled him into a quick hug.  
  
We decided to skip breakfast entirely and met the boys in the main hall for lunch two hours later.  
“Sleep well?” Sam asked when he saw us.  
“Yes.” we replied at the same time, and he chuckled a little.  
“So…” Dean started, hesitating.  
“What is it?” I asked, shifting my gaze to him. “Spit it out, Dean.”  
“We found a case.”  
“Where?”  
“California.”  
“When are you leaving?”  
They shot each other a nervous look, and I narrowed my eyes.  
“What’s going on?”  
“We… we could really use your help on this one.” Dean blurted out.  
“What? Why?”  
At this point, Sam jumped back in.  
“We think it’s just another haunting. Thing is…”  
“Thing is what?” Their tiptoeing around the matter at hand was really starting to get on my nerves.  
“The ghost seems to only show itself to females. There’s not a single report of a sighting by a male. It seems to be the same ghost appearing in different locations all over town, so we have no clue where to start. We might need it to appear.” Sam explained. He looked guilty, and I knew exactly why. I turned to look at Adam, who gave me a sad smile.  
“Go.” he told me.  
“Are you sure?”  
“No, not really. But they need your help. Go. I’ll manage.”  
I looked into his eyes for a few more moments. I could see the fear of being alone with his memories and nightmares in them, but also that he wanted to be strong enough. Squeezing his hand sympathetically, I heaved a great sigh and turned back to his brothers.  
“Alright. When do you want to leave?”  
They both huffed out a breath in relief before Sam answered my question.  
“We’ll have lunch, then we gotta go. Dean made burgers. He thought you guys could use something substantial since you slept in and missed breakfast.”  
“Sweet. I ever tell you your cooking is the biggest plus on your chart, Dean?”  
“All the time, love, all the time.” Dean replied, his smile just as forced as mine.  
He knew this was actually kind of a risk for Adam, and so did Sam. We all did. But it seemed we were lacking alternatives, so we had to take it.  
  
“Can you leave that here, please?” Adam asked as I was about to throw the well-thumbed paperback of what I had come to regard as “our book” on top of my clothes and zip up my duffel.  
“The book?” I replied wit a question of my own. He nodded by way of an answer. “Sure.”  
I flicked my wrist and it landed just perfectly on the pillow, as if I had meant for it to be displayed there.  
Then I closed the zipper on my bag and flipped the strap over my shoulder. The boys were waiting for me in the garage and we started to make our way in that direction.  
“You can call me any time.” I told Adam, and he nodded silently. “I mean it. Day and night. And don’t you dare to even think about not calling when you wake from a nightmare. They won’t mind. In motels I get a separate room from them anyway.”  
Adam smiled a little, and I fell into silence until we reached the car. Dean took my bag to put in the Impala’s trunk while I hugged Adam goodbye.  
“I’ll be back soon.” I told him, feeling him nod. “I’ll miss you.” Another nod.  
“Me too.”  
We reluctantly let go of each other and he held the door for me as I got into the backseat. I waved with a tight smile and he closed the door just as Dean slammed the trunk shut.  
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” I heard Adam ask through the open driver’s door.  
Sam got into the passenger seat and turned to look at me.  
“You know what that’s about?” he asked, and I shook my head, watching Dean nod in the rearview mirror, then taking a few steps away from the car, with Adam following.  
They talked for just a few moments before seemingly agreeing on something, both nodding and Dean cheerfully clapping Adam’s shoulder before he came back and took the driver’s seat. I turned to wave at Adam one more time as Dean started the car and began to steer it out of the garage.  
  
We had been on the road for no more than ten minutes before Sam broke the silence.  
“What did Adam want to talk about?”  
Dean’s eyes shifted to me in the mirror before he answered.  
"The guy who is definitely not in love with the girl in the back, who is absolutely not in love with him either, threatened to murder us both if we got her killed.”  
“And that validates your being so cheerful I wanna puke rainbows?” I asked, my voice icy.  
“Nope.”  
“So what does?”  
“He said he’d fillet us, no matter if we were his brothers.”


	12. Lenore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam has to live without you for a while, and you have to live without Adam...

The little California town we rolled into didn’t look like a place a ghost would hang out. But then, they never do. Cas had been waiting for us at a motel on the edge of town, but between the four of us, it still took several day, and nights, to scout out all the locations the spirit had visited.  
When Adam called, which he did every evening, I could tell he tried to sound cheerful and lighthearted, but he didn’t fool me. I could hear the faint trembling in his voice. That he also called every night, mostly twice, did not exactly ease my mind either.  
“Do you want me to come back?” I offered on our second call of the third night after we had left the bunker.  
“No. I’ll be fine. he refused the offer with a sigh. “Just be careful and come back in one piece.”  
A reluctant smile stole onto my lips.  
“That I can do. See you soon.”  
I hung up. We had been on our way out the door and to the last location we hadn’t checked yet when he called, and the boys were waiting outside with Cas. I checked my necessities before I joined them. The place was just a few minutes away on foot, so we had decided to walk.  
“How is he doing?” Dean asked cautiously, walking beside me.  
“Better than I feared, but…”  
“But you’re still worried.”  
“Yes.” I sighed.  
“I am, too.”  
“I know. I just hope he can keep holding up like that. At least for a little longer.”  
“There’s enough Winchester in him to do that. And more.” Dean said ominously. I couldn’t find it in me to ask what he meant.  
A minute later, we reached our destination.  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I exclaimed in disbelief.  
We were standing in front of an old timey ice-cream parlor that actually had the words “Ye Olde” in its name, written above the door in flowing, wide, golden cursive.  
“Is this even the right place?” My incredulity was evident.  
“It is.” Cas reaffirmed.  
“Since when do you have a problem with ice-cream?” Sam asked while Dean began to pick the lock.  
“I don’t. But what I do have a problem with are pretentious, fake-antique places like this. Now let’s get going, can we?”  
“Ladies first.” Dean grinned, pushing the door open for me.  
I entered, and a shiver ran through me. Cold spot.  
“Guys, I think the spirit’s here.”  
“Yeah, I feel it too. Let’s have a look around.” Dean grumbled behind me.  
We spread out, all for of us looking for anything unusual. I meant to glance over the photos of kid’s birthday parties on one wall but something caught my eye.  
“I think I found something!” I called, and Cas hurried to my side along with the other two.  
I pointed at one of the photos, where a kid in a simple cardboard crown was hugging a woman wearing an old-fashioned uniform around the middle. She was quite pretty, with long auburn curls. And she showed up in most of the pictures.  
“Wasn’t that the car-crash victim the girl at the funeral home talked about?”  
“She was.” Sam confirmed.  
“I saw her on a few pictures at the family home I visited where the spirit was seen. They mentioned the wife’s sister dying in a car crash.” Cas said.  
“You think it’s her?” Dean asked me.  
“Yeah. Do you remember her name? Think you can… you know what?”  
“Pretty sure. Cas, can you come with me?” The angel nodded. “Sammy, stay with F/N? And you try to draw her out. Distract her.”  
“Dean, she’ll not show herself with Sam in the room. You guys said it yourself, she’s never been seen by a male.” I pointed out.  
“I’ll wait outside.” Sam interjected. “Be close. Within earshot, so you can call when things get tough.”  
I nodded in agreement and they left, Dean and Cas to burn her bones and Sam to wait outside until it was over or I needed him. For about ten minutes, I just waited. Then I got bored.  
“You can come out!” I called. “I know you want to! Come on! Give me your best shot!”  
A his sounded somewhere to my right, and I turned to look in that direction. There she was, behind the counter, looking exactly like she must’ve after the crash. She was a mess. I did not have too much time to analyze her looks, though, since she soon enough began throwing things at me. Glasses, to be exact. The few I couldn’t dodge would probably leave some nasty bruises.  
When all the glasses she could find lay smashed around me, I hoped she would find some other way to bug me.  
“You okay in there?” Sam called from outside.  
“Peachy, but this place will need to restock on glasses.” I retorted, turning my head slightly.  
Big mistake. While I wasn’t paying my full attention to the spirit, the smashed glass around me began to hover. Protecting my head and neck with my arms, I tried to find cover in one of the little booths or under a table, but there was no escaping the jagged-edged shards. They just changed their direction as quickly as I could ever try to dodge them, cutting me and digging into my flesh. Still, I kept trying until my breath came out in rasps. Then I smelled it. A faint hint of smoke, barely there. The spirit began to screech when I looked her way, lit up like a bonfire for a few seconds, and then she was gone.  
In my relief, I just exited the shop to join Sam outside, not much caring how I looked.  
“Was it her?” Sam asked before he even took in my appearance.  
"Yeah, it was her alright."  
“Shit, F/N!” He finally looked at me.  
“What? It’s just a few cuts and bruises, I’ll be fine.”  
“F/N, just look!” he said, gesturing towards my stomach, and I did as he asked.  
“Oh!” I gasped, a sudden rush of pain washing over me. “Look at that! I’ve been impaled!” A pained, weak giggle escaped me.  
The long stem of a glass as well as a few other rather large pieces of glass protruded from my body and my shirt was soaked in crimson. Suddenly exhausted, I fell to my knees. Sam lowered himself to the same level and kept me more or less upright as he reached for his phone.  
“Dean! Get back to the motel with Cas NOW!!! F/N got hurt!” he bellowed into the device, then scooping me up into his arms, careful not to hurt me any more, but I was already passed out by the time he was on his feet again.  
  
I was jolted back into consciousness by repeated little stings as Sam picked small shards of glass out of my arm, and a big flash of pain when Dean pulled the largest pieces of glass from my stomach.  
“Cas, your turn.” he instructed, and Cas moved in closer to heal me.  
“Wait!” I croaked.  
“F/N, there’s no time. He needs to heal you, or you’re gonna bleed out. Think of Adam.” Dean reprimanded me.  
“I know… just… Cas. As much as necessary, as little as possible, alright? Don’t burn yourself out on my account.”  
He nodded and came closer.  
When he touched my forehead, I could feel my wounds sealing and my breathing ease up. I also got sleepy and quickly drifted off. The last thing I noticed was my phone vibrating in the pocket of my jeans.  
Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I demand feedback!!!!  
> Seriously, I would like to hear what you think about all my stuff! Don't hesitate!


	13. She walks in Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam finds out why you didn't answer your phone, and Cas is being helpful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last time, it's Adam's POV, which means italics.

_“What’s going on?!?” I demanded as my brothers burst through the doors._   
_I had been impatiently pacing the halls all day since F/N had stopped answering her phone and I did not have either of the others numbers. Dean descended the stairs with an unconscious, blood-soaked F/N in his arms._   
_“What… Is she-“ I choked up._   
_“Adam, keep your cool. She’s just sleeping.” Dean snapped, turning towards the bedrooms._   
_“Keep my cool? Are you kidding me? There’s blood all over her. What the hell happened?”_   
_I wanted to hurry after him and Sam, but Castiel grabbed me by my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. I glared at him._   
_“Dean is right. F/N was injured, but I healed her. She will be fine. What she needs is rest, so I ‘knocked her out’, as Dean put it. Don’t worry.” the angel explained._   
_I took a deep breath to calm myself down._   
_“Thanks, Cas.”_   
_He smiled._   
_“It is my pleasure. I know she’s important to you. She is to all of us, I am very fond of her too, bt for you… It’s special.”_   
_I looked away, not wanting my expression to tell him how very right he was._   
_“You should tell her.” he continued._   
_“I don’t think that I can.”_   
_“It is a risk, that is right. But take it. Her answer might surprise you…”_   
_He did not give me an opportunity to reply, he just walked off in the general direction of the library. I followed Sam and Dean instead, entering F/N’s room just as Dean lowered her body to rest on the bed instead of his arms. Sam pulled a blanket up around her and Dean looked up. When he saw me standing in the doorway, he came over._   
_“Hey. Listen, I know you were worried back there. I didn’t mean to pass that over just like that, I only wanted to get her into her own bed as soon as possible. As much as I love Baby, the backseat’s not exactly the perfect location for a restful nap.”_   
_“I understand.”_   
_At that moment, Sam joined us by the door._   
_“Hey, Adam.” he greeted._   
_I nodded._   
_“You’re sure she’ll be okay?”_   
_My voice was unsteady as I looked at F/N’s unconscious form._   
_“Positive. There was a lot of blood, obviously, but Cas made sure she’s going to be fine.” Dean confirmed, then exchanging a look I found suspicious with Sam. “We’ll go have a chat with Cas. Where is he,. anyway?”_   
_“Library.”_   
_“Right. See you later, kid.” he squeezed my shoulder in a very brotherly way. “I guess you’ll want to stay here until she wakes up.”_   
_“Yes.” I acknowledged absent-mindedly, my thoughts already drifting back to what the angel had said. Was he right? Was it a risk I should take?_   
_“Tell us if either of you needs anything.” I distantly heard Dean say._   
_“Sure…”_   
_They left, and I pulled the only chair in the room up to the bed so I wouldn’t disturb F/N’s sleep. If Cas hadn’t been with them, I might very well have lost her today. And she wouldn’t even know. I wasn’t sure how- No, she had mad it pretty clear that she didn’t harbor feelings for anyone right now. My chest ached at the knowledge that she didn’t love me the way I wished she did, the angel’s words still ringing in my ears. What kind of an answer could she possibly give me that would surprise me in a positive way? What if I told her, and she only replied by saying how sorry she was? What if she realized she had been wrong to deny it before, and revealed she was in love with Dean after all? Could I really take that plunge, that leap of faith?_   
  
_I wasn’t sure how long I had sat by her side like that when she began to stir. Her eyes opened slowly, and a soft, tired smile curved her lips._   
_“Hey…” she said, he voice almost inaudible._   
_One of her hands went up to comb through her hair, the other reached towards me, and I took it between both of mine quickly, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. I couldn’t stop myself._   
_“What was that for?” she asked, her smile a little wider._   
_“Waking up.”_   
_“I scared you, didn’t I?”_   
_“You have no idea how much… When Dean walked in carrying you, I thought you were gone. I wouldn’t have known what to do without you…”_   
_She sat up, not withdrawing her hand from my desperate grasp._   
_“I’m fine.” she assured me, her free hand joining our others. “Really. Cas did a marvelous job on me. New and improved.”_   
_“There’s nothing to improve.” I mumbled, hoping she didn’t hear. Hoping she did. I had no clue what I wanted._   
_“What was that?”_   
_So she did hear. My head told me to run, my gut to stick with it and spill. I listened to my gut._   
_“There’s nothing to improve.” I repeated. “You’re perfect.”_   
_“Adam, please. Don’t flatter me.”_   
_“I’m not. I mean it. You’re perfect to me. And… I know you don’t feel that way, but what I dreaded the most when I thought about how close I had been to never talking to you again was that I never had the stomach to tell you something.” I paused._   
_She didn’t say anything, just sat there, looking at me questioningly, waiting. Just as I opened my mouth to speak on, there was a knock._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to tell me what you think!


	14. It’s all I have to bring today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and Revelations...

We both looked at the door, not uttering a word. I was very much tempted to ignore whoever was knocking and hear what Adam had been trying to tell me, but the person at the door was insistent and knocked again. I gave his hand a squeeze and smiled before answering.  
“Come in!”  
It was Sam’s head that appeared through a crack in the door.  
“Ah, you’re awake! How do you feel?”  
He opened the door fully and stepped in.  
“Brilliant. I’m as good as new. So are you just here to check on me?”  
“That’s part of it. But we were also thinking about dinner, I was gonna ask Adam what he wanted. Since you got hurt, though, maybe you want to choose?” he offered.  
“I don’t know… Hm… Adam, fancy some Indian food?”  
“Sure.” he grumbled.  
“Indian it is.”  
“F/N, you know it’s Dean’s turn to pick up food and that Indian place you like takes forever…” Sam pointed out.  
“Tell him I said ‘Ouch’ and to suck it up.”  
“As you wish.” he said and left, chuckling to himself.  
I turned back to Adam, who looked almost dejected.  
“What were you saying?” I prompted.  
“Nothing. Forget it. It’s not important.”  
“It sounded like it was, Adam.”  
“Really, it doesn’t matter… You… you probably want to clean up.” He gestured to my bloody shirt. “I’ll go give you some space.” he rambled and got up.  
“Adam, I-“ but he was already gone.  
With a heavy sigh, I flipped back the sheets and grabbed some essentials before I went to have a lengthy shower and think.  
  
As the hot water thundered down onto my head, I kept turning Adam’s words in my mind, over and over again. What on earth could it have been that he meant to say? What had all that build-up been leading to? And why did he chicken out after Sam had left? Granted, he’d left the door open, but we had been alone again. Adam could have told me anything. He knew that. What could have possibly made him that nervous around me, of all people. And what had he meant by knowing I didn’t feel that way? He couldn’t still be going on about me and Dean. We had cleared that up. but what then?  
Not an inch closer to an answer I stepped out of the shower, toweled myself dry and put on some clean clothes. Then I brushed out my hair and went to join the boys.  
I found them in the main hall, sitting at one of the large tables. Well, Sam was sitting at the table, a book in front of him, engrossed in what he read. Adam and Cas’ chairs were on the other side, pulled further out, and they seemed to have an actual conversation. One they interrupted when Adam saw me approach. I pulled out a chair beside him and flopped down on it, swinging my feet up to rest in his lap. He looked at me in surprise, but I was in a playful mood. Maybe I could tease it out of him.  
“Talking about me?” I asked cheekily.  
Adam remained silent, and I was absolutely positive he was blushing. Cas didn’t reply either, he was just looking at me intently.  
“They were.” Sam announced, not looking up from his book. “They seem to think reading makes one deaf.”  
“We were indeed speaking of you.” Cas confirmed, ignoring Sam’s little jab. “I was asking Adam how you were. He answered. That was all.”  
“Mhm…” Sam droned.  
Adam shot him a deadly look.  
I must’ve taken longer in the shower than I thought, since just at that moment, Dean returned with our food.  
“Here she is!” he called as he saw me.  
He came over to us, placing the bags on the table and kissing the top of my head.  
“Glad you’re up and about. Adam nearly freaked when he saw you all bloody and… not conscious…”  
“Dean!” I chided as Adam blushed again.  
  
Dinner passed with a lot of playful banter until slowly but surely we all began to feel a strong desire to go to bed. Sam, Dean and I were also still drained from the hunt, so we decided to turn in early.  
Adam joined me in my room after another whispered conversation with Cas in the hallway.  
“Since when are you best buddies with Cas?” I asked with a smile.  
“He kind of grew on me. Saving your life helped, too.” he replied, not looking at me.  
He sat down on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets tight, and stared at his feet. With a small sigh, I sat next to him and nudged his shoulder, resolved to find out what was going on.  
“Adam?”  
“Hmm?”  
“What were you going to tell me before Sam knocked?”  
“F/N…”  
I scooted a little closer.  
“You can tell me anything.”  
“I know, I just…” He shot me a fleeting look, immediately returning his gaze to his feet.  
“You’re scared?” I prompted, receiving a nod. “Of what?”  
“Your answer.”  
“Adam.” Closer. “Whatever you have to tell me, I will never laugh at, ignore, ridicule, or in any way intentionally hurt you. I swear. Tell me. Please.”  
He took a deep breath and turned to face me. I shifted my posture as well, and we ended up sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing one another.  
“What I have been meaning to tell you…” he paused, clenching his fists. “I love you.” He hurried the words out before he lost the will to say them.  
My eyes widened in surprise. I knew he was attached to me, but not in this way. I hadn’t repressed my own heart’s desires for nothing. I had to know for certain. Had to be sure he was sure. Although my heart threatened to jump out of my chest at any given moment, I forced back the joy that threatened to overwhelm me.  
“Adam, before I give you any kind of answer, can I ask you something?”  
“Anything.” he replied eagerly.  
“Are you absolutely certain you’re not just grateful?” I asked, and he seemed to collapse into himself, dejected. “I don’t mean to be harsh, and remember, this is not my reply to what you just told me. But it would be only natural for you to be grateful. You might confuse it with love.”  
“I have not been less confused about anything else since you got me out of that place.” he whispered. “I’m not just grateful. I know exactly how I feel. I love you.”  
I exhaled as he repeated the words that made my soul sing with joy.  
“Please, look at me.” I asked, reaching for his hands. He looked up, right into my eyes. “You remember the night you heard me talk with Sam in the kitchen, right? and what Sam said to me, you still know that?”  
“That you wouldn’t admit you were in love with his brother.”  
“Exactly. What did I tell you the next morning?”  
“You said you were not in love with Dean.”  
“Right. Can you tell what I’m getting at?”  
His face fell. He apparently couldn’t, and thought I had fooled myself, or worse, that I had been lying. That I had a thing for Dean after all.  
“I said I’m not into Dean, and that’s the truth. However, I never told you I wasn’t in love with Sam’s brother, did I?”  
His eyes shot up to bore into mine.  
“What? I… You mean… Are you… Do you mean-“  
I shut him up by grabbing his collar and pulling him towards me until our lips met. Our first kiss wasn’t scorching. There was no roaring fire behind it. No need. No hurry. No holding back either. It felt like standing barefoot in a brook in the middle of the woods, only nature around, and within oneself the deep sense that this thing that one is doing at that very moment is perfectly alright. Is just what it should be, and what it should be like.  
We broke apart and I leaned my forehead against his.  
“That’s exactly what I mean.” I breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep the feedback coming in!


	15. Da Mi Basia Mille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two of you... express your feelings in a different sense...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the smut-chapter. Fluffy smut. I think.

He sighed in relief at my declaration.  
“How is this even possible? I’m broken.”  
“Don’t say that. You’re not broken. Damaged, maybe. But you’re getting there. And I’ve always been a sucker for the damaged ones. You’ve been through so much pain, and suffering, but you don’t close yourself off from the world.” I placed my palm over his heart. “From the good things. The positive feelings. That’s admirable. It’s part of why I grew to love you.  
He leaned in to capture my lips in another soft kiss. It felt just as… right as the first one, but I would have been lying had I claimed there was no desire behind it this time. On either side. I knew I wanted him physically as well, and it was evident in the way he kissed me that he wanted the same.  
Slowly, I leaned back, stretching out on my bed until I lay, my still damp hair fanned out on the pillow, with Adam hovering above me, the kiss unbroken. My hands traveled from his neck and chest to between his shoulder blades and the small of his back so that I could pull his body closer to mine. He moaned against my lips at the increased contact.  
After my shower, I had just jumped into a pair of black sweatpants, a maroon tank top and a hoody I zipped up halfway. Now, Adam reverently looked into my eyes while he pulled the zipper all the way down. As we continued kissing, his hand traced up and down my ribs over my top, mine taking their own sweet time getting to know every inch of his back. Every touch we gave each other, every kiss, every look, breath, sigh, movement, was pure devotion. Admiration. We had both denied our feelings long enough, for different reasons, and there was no stopping now. Not that we were hasty in any way. On the contrary,. There was a heat between us, within us, and we were making good use of it. Not a darting flame, bright, fast, all-consuming and gone in a flash, leaving behind only charred remains and the biting scent of its death, but a slow, deep smoldering, eating away at a piece of coal for as long as it may last, not dying out before it is provided with new food.  
I let my hands slowly disappear beneath his T-Shirt, pushing it up, bit by bit, touching, caressing every glimpse of skin that was revealed before exposing more, and he did the same with my top. When both garments had been pushed up as far as they would go without us breaking apart we did just that, only long enough to get rid of the superfluous fabric. I had forgone putting on a bra beneath the other layers, leaving my chest now bare and exposed to Adam’s gaze as well as his soft, devoted touches. At the same time, I had the pleasure of admiring him as well. He was well-defined, firm, delightful to run my fingertips up and down him, but not overly muscular. In my eyes, he was ideal. Just right.  
He kissed a trail down my neck, proceeding to cover my whole upper body in sweet, feather-light kisses. Such treatment had me moaning and breathing only his name in no time, and I reached for the button on his jeans, unzipping it in basically the same motion. Pushing the denim down his hips just far enough, I then wriggled my fingers, letting them disappear beneath the waistband of his boxer-briefs. My fingertips trailed up and down, back and forth along his most sensitive skin, the fingers of my other hand digging into his shoulder as he continued his ministrations to my chest.  
“F/N!” he gasped, moving to rest his forehead against mine, when I wrapped my hand around his length and began to move it gently.  
In turn, he reached between my legs with one hand to stroke my heat through the two layers of fabric, giving me sweet pleasure and applying pressure in all the right spots, while bringing our lips together at the same time, effectively drowning out the loud, wanton moan that was about to escape me.  
Our already labored breathing grew even heavier, and quickly so. I personally was more worked up than I had ever been before with my pants still on.  
“Adam.” I panted desperately when he released my lips.  
He scooted down my body before looking up at me questioningly , his hands both on my hips now. I nodded my approval with a smile, and my last pieces of clothing were gone in a flash. He disposed of his own jeans and underwear just as quickly and joined me on the bed again.  
“You’re perfection.” he whispered after kissing me once more. One of his hands was now light as a feather at my waist, the other supported his weight above me. He was perfectly positioned between my thighs, but made no further move. Oh, how I wanted him to. I placed a hand at the back of his neck and responded with a smile.  
“I’m not so sure I am, but I know this is.”  
Preventing any verbal response, I brought our lips together. Our tongues mingled, as did our bodies when he slowly sank into me, his fingers digging into my waist at the sensation.  
Feeling him within me like this was better than I ever could have imagined. Complete. I felt a new level of connection with Adam that went way beyond the physical experience we were sharing. His movements were slow, sensual, devoted. All the while, we were kissing again and again.  
“Be more careful the next time you hunt.” he whispered against my lips. “I don’t think I could bear losing you. Not now. Not ever.”  
His voice was raw and the emotion it carried made me shiver. I cupped his face with both of my hands and looked into the unfathomable depths of his eyes. When I replied, my words were a vow I was determined to uphold.  
“I promise.”  
Then I pulled his face closer again to seal the bargain with a kiss.  
Adams movements began to gain speed as my body arched, my hips meeting his with the same rhythm. Every part of me he touched, inside and out, was alight with the presence of him. As I felt myself nearing the precipice, way to soon for my liking, my mind was reeling and the only thing I was sure of was Adam. That I wanted him. And that I wanted him to be safe, happy, and at peace. I tumbled over the edge, tightening around him, and he slowed for a while to let me ride out this first climax, but did not stop. My nails left angry, red, half-moon shaped marks on his back as they sank into his flesh and my moans of delight were swallowed by the connection of our lips.  
When the sensation ebbed away, Adam’s thrusts increased in frequency again. My now overly sensitive body was soon enough tensing up in anticipation of another orgasm as Adam approached his as well. I broke the kiss and let my mouth trail across his cheek, along his jaw line and down his neck, at the base of which I left a few marks on his pale skin, nibbling, sucking, then soothing the sting by trailing my tongue over the spots I treated thus.  
Adam breathed my name as if it was a revelation, and I strained my neck to touch my lips to his once more. His movements still picking up speed, the tension in me still building up again, it was now his turn to lower his head to my chest, his lips surrounding my nipple, sucking, licking, drawing infinite gasps and moans from me, the other breast treated in an equally breathtaking fashion by that one of his hands that had, until now, been firmly attached to my waist.  
My own hands, in the meantime, traced along his spine, his, shoulder blades, his arms, before I wove my fingers into his hair to pull him up and look into his eyes.  
Another kiss, another touch, both our bodies were almost at breaking point, movements less timed, more erratic, until our mutual climax hit us like a wave, collapsing into itself, foaming up, reassembling into a smaller one, repeating the process until it reached the shore.  
Adam’s whole body stilled, as did mine, his heat spilling into me, the only sound in the room my ticking alarm clock and our labored breathing. His forehead was leaning against mine, our eyes locked, until he closed his and moved to lie on his side, facing me. I stretched to kiss him once more and molded my body against his as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. We were both glowing with bliss and he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck.  
“I love you.” I whispered softly before we both fell asleep, exhausted, but happy beyond measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was debating whether it should be rough and desperate instead, but that wouldn't have fit with the overall tone of the story, would it?
> 
> What do you think?


	16. Epilogue – Penny, Brown Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said it before, this is PG-13, no blood, no... intercourse, just teasing and fluff.

“God, no!” I said as we entered the kitchen for breakfast the next morning, hand in hand, and I found a fat, smug grin on Dean’s lips.  
“I’m sure that’s a very different tune from what you sang last night, F/N.” he said. Can’t be absolutely positive, of course. Too quiet.”  
Adam tensed beside me.  
“Not everyone needs to knock over furniture in order to demonstrate their abilities, Dean.”I retorted, and Adam relaxed again. “How did you know, anyway.”  
“He didn’t.” Sam commented.  
“What? You mean…”  
“That you basically just told him you two… worked it out? Yep.”  
“Shit.”  
“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, F/N. I’m happy for you. Both of you.” Dean admitted. “Sammy wasn’t the only one who could tell you belonged. So I decided to give Cas a hint.”  
“Give Cas a – You did what?!? I thought I told you not to-“  
“You said not to bother our little brother.” Dean smiled fondly at Adam. “I didn’t. I just told Cas what I saw, and he agreed.  
“Brilliant. Because Cas is so well-versed regarding human emotions. No offence, Cas.” I turned to the angel, who had just entered the room.  
“None taken.”  
“You’re lucky it all ended up the best way.” I said, narrowing my eyes at Dean.  
“Not as lucky as me.” Adam piped up.  
I faced him, beaming.  
“You’re right. Thanks, Cas.”  
“My pleasure.” he smiled.  
“Hey!” Dean complained. “It was my idea!”  
“Maybe, but you were being intrusive. Cas was concerned.

Adam and I spent the afternoon in our room (It was our room now, we wouldn’t change that again…), watching some TV-Shows I wanted to introduce him to on my laptop. Dean had refused to let us watch them on the TV in his room, insisting we would end up doing something dodgy he wouldn’t want his mattress to remember.  
“So…” I began, sitting between Adam’s legs, leaning back against his chest, with his arms wrapped around me.  
“Hmm?” he hummed, content.  
“Dean said you threatened to murder him and Sam just before we left.”  
His hold on me tightened ever so slightly.  
“Maybe.”  
“Relax. I’m more interested in how happy he was that you called them your brothers while doing so.” I smiled, turning a bit to look at him  
“They are, after all.” he admitted. “I’ll get used to them, I think.”  
“Good.”  
“But if they get you hurt again, I’ll make them pay, regardless.”  
I reached up to brush back his hair and then pulled him in for a short, sweet kiss.  
“Understood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of sad to see this story end, but it feels natural. This is the place to end it. (Fret not, heaven's most adorable angel is getting a multi-chapter all of his own. That's got to count for something, right?)
> 
> Give me all the constructive criticism you can muster!!! I beg of you!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Any requests? Give me a shout. I'll see what I can do, no promises made.


End file.
